Hoarding and Other Things

I discovered Ellie's cache that she has been hiding behind the sofa. There was a pile of food...leftovers and things that she didn't want to eat dropped down there, along with wrappers, small Polly-Pocket toys, cups, and eating utensils...yuck. No wonder the dog and cat were trying to get back there.

When I put Ellie to bed last night she crawled up in my lap with her baby bottle. I "fed" her the bottle while she fell asleep. I have decided to just play along with her baby act until she decides that she is finished "growing up" in our family. At first I was kind of weirded out by the whole thing, but then last night while I held her I just got really sad. I wondered about her bio mom and how she must have fed her knowing that she might not see her grow up and at the orphanages, did her nannies really have time to feed and cuddle her with so many babies to take care of? How many are left over there right now just wanting to be held and cuddled? Is she trying to make memories of me being her mother or is she trying to replace memories of the ones that she has lost? What will I say to her when she starts asking those big questions and telling me her story? I get so caught up in the day-to-day stuff that I don't think about the big implications of all this adoption "stuff." The bottom line is this is one little girl that was separated from her family. And it happens all over the world every day without end...